Gaining confidence is a very complex topic that will take quite a bit of discussion yet it is something that really needs to be addressed. So many people lack the confidence to behave in the way that they want. They adjust their personalities to be more “socially acceptable” at the expense of their own happiness. This fear  is crippling both in their every day life and in business, if you have low confidence it can prevent you making beneficial connections with people and can even hold back your progress in life. That is why I want to help you, but before you read the rest of this I want you to realise that gaining confidence is not easy, it takes courage.

One of the main sources of a lack of confidence is the unexpected, the fear of the unknown, if you are scared to try something you cannot even find out if it is scary or not. It’s just like when you are waiting to deliver a speech and you feel your heart rate begin to rise, your palms get sweaty and you even shake a bit. When you think about it logically it doesn’t make any sense because at that moment in time nothing scary is even happening, it is simply the anticipation of something bad happening that makes you fearful. Now you need courage, their is a difference between this and confidence because courage takes bravery. The only way you are going to get over the fear of the unexpected is to take the plunge and find out once and for all if it is scary or not. Just like getting into cold water, it’s a shock at first but when your in you seem to warm up and get comfortable. You’ll notice that as you make a speech you will stop shaking, your palms will stop sweating and you’ll calm down and your pulse will lower. You will realise that the fear was illogical. So next time you choose not to try something out of fear, stop and make the other decision. Be brave and take the plunge and it will be better than you think.

People often lack confidence because they feel inadequate, no one wants to put their weaknesses on display. People don’t like making speeches because they have no experience and they suck at it. They lack confidence to take of their shirt at the beach because they are fat or out of shape. To solve this you either have to find a way not to give a dam and settle for inadequacy and pretend you don’t care about others opinions or you can develop yourself. Personally I would go for improving myself. If you want confidence then get good at whatever it is, go out and practice speeches or go to the gym and start lifting some weights. Do whatever it takes to become the best at something and there is no way that you will lack confidence in putting it on show. You don’t see bodybuilders embarrassed to show off their body, it’s the complete opposite. They will take any opportunity to show off their body because they are the best at something. So if you lack confidence make yourself better at it. This again will take courage, you will have to go out and give speeches or you will have to go to the gym and feel embarrassed because you are inadequate. But you won’t care because you will know that soon you will be the best.

I recently heard about a quite radical technique for gaining confidence in life whilst watching a TEDx talk by a guy called Till. He says to find the busiest place you can with the most people you can find in one place and simply lay down on the floor for however long it takes for you to realise that it’s not scary. He called it a comfort zone crusher and you can find all different types of them and they are great for increasing your confidence. I will include a link to the video below. Good luck with increasing you confidence but remember it all starts with courage.

TEDx talk: Here